Alphonso Valdez

Alphonso Vincent Valdez passed away on Friday, November 12,2021 at the VA Medical Center in Grand Junction, Colorado. He was 72 years old.

He is survived by his, son, Alphonso B. Valdez Jr, daughter, Bonnie A. Valdez, and three granddaughters, Ranee, Tiffany and Corina.

Alphonso was born in Olathe, Colorado on August 11, 1949, to Bonifaco A. Valdez and Mary S. Arculetta.   Alphonso had three sisters, Gloria, Diana, and Molly. He had one brother, Alzono.

He lived most of his early life in a small town in Peonia and Montrose helping his mother and father on the farm and helping raise his brother and sisters. Even from the beginning he was a family driven person sacrificing himself and education for make sure the family would never want.

This same drive than lead him to take care of a must bigger family when he volunteered to serve his country in the US Navy during the Vietnam War. The small-town country boy was now about to undertake a duty that not many have.  He was assigned as a lead helmsman to the USS Stone County and spent his tour patrolling the Saigon River, code name “Brown Water”.  He was always assigned to a PBR patrol, risking his life on a daily basis while the rest of the free world looked down at them and call them “baby killers”, but these American boys were just kids themselves.

Fast forward a few years and the transition to civilian life, our Aunt Honey, (his sister Gloria), meet someone that would bring into the family a very beautiful Florida girl, Mary Ann Carraro.

Al and Mary wrote letter back and forth for months. Our Aunt brought the big city girl home for leave because Mary, our mom, was also a member of the US Army, serving her county next to our aunt. Al met my aunt at the bus stop with this mystery woman that he had only seen thru pictures and letters.  I remember our father telling the story of their meeting; that when our mom jumped off the bus, she had seen him, threw her bags to the ground, and ran at our father, leaping into his arms saying, “I am going to be your wife”.  Thus began one of life's greatest and most enduring love stories.

Al and Mary were married in November of 1970 and started a beautiful life together.  In the summer of 1973 there lives would take another turn, after have tried and lost their dreams of being parents an number of times, their dream finial was realized when Mary gave birth to a baby boy, whom they named after Dad and Grandpa, Alphonso Bonofaico Valdez. Their family was now 3.

The three of them were never separated and where a very close loving family.  But there was something missing. Another piece that they were hoping for. So, Al and Mary decided to have another baby.  They tried and tried with no success. Doctors told them they could not be parents ever again, not by traditional means, and if they wanted to be parents again, they should consider adoption.  So, they tried to reach out to love another child.  No matter their effort or the love they had to give another child they were denied.  So, giving up they questioned God as to why.  We like to call this is the moment that the stress went away, and our mother and father said “we will love our boy and cherish our family as we are “and that God blessed with another miracle. They were so happy that another baby was on the way to join our family.

On November 12, 1982, Our Dad is told she is coming we had no idea what the sex was, but I guess mom did.   At the hospital Mom was asked if she wanted to wait and have her baby on her birthday and Mom, bless her soul, said “no!  Get her out of me now!”  Bonnie Ann Valdez was born that night, the most beautiful blond-haired miracle that our family has ever had.  The baby that was impossible and could never happen was now here. Our Family was finally whole. And complete and we live like this for years,

Our family never wavered, no matter where we were, no matter what the job our parents always did what they need to do for us kids, never looking back and with any regrets.

Now there have been ups and downs in this love story. Tragedy struck and our mom got really sick, leaving her unable to walking, then eventually bed redden. She could no longer take care of herself, and our dad never left, never once gave up. We pulled together and made Mary last days the best we could. Mary passed away in 2017.

I know the day our father lost our mother, his princess, a huge piece of him died also.  He often talked about our mom and how he could feel his heart was broken. He could not wait to see her in Heaven again and was waiting or her to chew his ass about not moving on and being happy.  But what our mom didn't know was that he could only be happy with her. The only reason he stayed away from her so long was because he wanted to make sure their children and grandchildren were going to be ok,

We were there in the last days of our dad’s life. All he was worried about was us kids and his grand kids. While holding his hands, he told us how proud he was of us. Even at his final few hours, my dad the warrior, the strong care-taker, was looking out for his family.  He said he could hear our mom knocking on the door telling him she was here. I believe he followed me home to Phoenix, because he kept giving me inside jokes as little signs along the way.

We will never hear his voice again saying this will be ok or how can I help.  Feel his warm touch and hear his advice even if we are too stubborn to listen. Smell the Brut Cologne on his skin. We have so many regrets, so many unanswered questions.  Did we learn enough? Could we have learned more from him?  If I can give you any advice, don't be afraid to ask that one question, drive to that one place again listen to that same story again and again. Trust me, you are going to miss that same old annoying story one day. They are telling that story to you, because you were a leading role in that story and you made a mark on them too,

In closing the story of his life, we don't want you to be sad, cry, be angry or ask why.  Please move forward let this loss be a message to heal and feel the love he had for his family.  We all need to start caring for one another again. Forgive an enemy, move past a mistake, make up with a friend, call your parents, go and do something for yourself, forgive yourself, forgive others, make peace with your decisions.  See the people you love before they are gone and it's too late to say the things you need to say. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Please don't wait until it is too late to simply say I LOVE YOU!